Dr. Nutmeg's SEO Workshop for Latinas

How to set up Google Analytics 4, ContentShake AI, and other tools to track your marketing-to-sales progress.

Welcome back to The FACTory! I’m Dr. Nutmeg, your hostess, and tonight’s topic is SEO presented by our special guest Femmebot 8.0…oh wait. Uhh…according to my notes, it appears our presenter has just experienced her eighth Meltdownload? After losing her J-O-B at #techcompany last Fall, Femmebot 8.0 is now also grieving the loss of her D-O-G. 

Femmebot 8.0: #WAAAA!

As you can see, she can barely speak, so she’s checked herself into The FACTory for another upgrade rather than teaching us SEO. Girl. You been here WAY too many times.

“I miss my friend,” babbles Femmebot 8.0 repeatedly. “Thank you, Pippy, for teaching me how to truly love.”

Troll Farmers! Remove this useless shell of a Femmebot from the stage and upgrade her with Maria La Gata's Writing & Entrepreneurship User Journey Workshop/Brujeria 101, specifically geared toward Femmebots with Latina source code. Here at The FACTory, we understand #LatinasinTech are invariably managing hella emo telenovelas in their operating systems whilst running a business. If you haven’t started watching “Griselda” on Netflix, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about, but in the fun context of 1970s Miami.

Time for a Pivot!

Welcome to our new fleet of AI-generated Femmebots, arriving just in time to present a sweet SEO strategy for our Substack!

Femmebot 1.924: Yay! I didn’t know SEO was one of our skillz to pay the billz!

Femmebot 5.0: Me neither. It’s never been something we put on our pitches to clients or applications for jobs.

Femmebot 3.14159: Why the heck not?

Femmebot 2.024: Pura estupidezzzzz.

Femmebot 4.15: Callense todos, don’t be mean!

Femmebot 6.0: TBH, it’s my fault. As the marketing director of The FACTory, I shoulda promoted this skill, pero like, I only just joined the team in 2017 and then Femmebot 7.0 had her infamous Meltdownload.

OK, Femmebots, enough bickering, we’ll lose subscribers if we don’t get to the point!

Wait a second, what’s our point? Oh yeah.

I’m Dr. Nutmeg, your mad scientist hostess, and I outsource all the tasks of The FACTory to The Femmebots, cuz real talk — you gotta replicate yourself to make a biz manageable. I’ll introduce all The Femmebots in the next episode on Thursday (or maybe next week) since a reader asked who they are, so stay tuned!

Back to SEO.

First off, I didn’t realize it was one of my skills cuz I always thought of myself as a writer. But when you fill out meta-tags and meta-descriptions on the back-end of every article you write, these are the foundations of search engine optimization (SEO).

No one was really talking about “search engines” at the beginning of my career for MLive.com in 1997 — THE DAWN OF THE INTERNET AGE! I didn't know I was learning how to create searchable content on the Interwebz. I suppose it was a classic "disconnect." In college, I had searched Netscape and AOL and library databases for other people's articles and books, using keywords and Boolean phrases, but I did not realize that I, myself, was also creating searchable content.

Why was this so hard for me to grasp or care about? I guess cuz back then, it was all so new, and I had studied PRINT journalism. All I wanted to do was have fun, get paid (enough) to write and see my byline printed in a newspaper. I was in my 20s, y'all. Process was more important to me than product, ROI, results, money, data points, etc. 

Eventually I applied my SEO skills at every other job/project that followed including:

• Four startups — Latino.com, BiscayneTimes.com, TheAngelJournal.com, BiscayneWriters.com

• AmeriCorps — Volunteers of America Foster Grandparent Program

• Four nonprofits — Youthoutlook.org, NASHP.org, PhilanthropyNewYork.org, UrbanAlliance.org

• Several magazines — LatinaVoz.com, KwestonMedia.com, Miami Monthly, Success South Florida

• Two socially responsible businesses — EthicalMarkets.com, NaturalInvestments.com

You get the idea. I’m in the process of figuring out the metrics of success on each of these properties by applying the logical side of my brain with Latinas in Data. Meantime, check out this great case study of some of my SEO work from 2023 here and learn my process BELOW the Paywall.

The most exciting part of the workshop below, at least for me, is that I am FINALLY applying these SEO skills toward MY OWN super emo telenovelas starring The Femmebots and a few of the other characters I’ve created here at The FACTory. The main ones in 2024 are “Latina.Bomb” and “The Nine Lives of Maria La Gata,” coming soon to this Substack…as soon as Femmebots 7.0 and 8.0 can get their shit together.

Wanna Learn How to Push Your Brand to the Top of the Search Results Page?

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