'Hello Suckers!' How Tex Guinan, Queen of the Nightclubs, Mentored Me

Fifteenth Installment of Writing for Latina Entrepreneurs, written from the POV of Dr. Nutmeg's bisabuela Maria La Gata, a rum-running gangster in 1920s Harlem and Puerto Rico.

Welcome back to Maria La Gata’s Writing & Entrepreneurship User Journey Workshop, aka Brujeria Navigation 101. I’m Maria La Gata, coming to you live and direct even though I’ve been dead since the 1970s. If you missed last week’s interview with Cleo Lythgoe, aka Queen of Rum Row, check it out here.

Tonight I’m interviewing another queen and one of the most famous feminists from the 1920s, Tex Guinan, Queen of the Nightclubs. Unlike Cleo, there is a plethora of magazine articles and books about this woman who ruled the speakeasy scene in New York City during Prohibition. My nieta Dr. Nutmeg downloaded this one from Amazon to assist with the interview, míralo aquí:

As I mentioned last week, it was Josephine Baker who led me to Tex who led me to Rum Row where I met Cleo, the Queen of Bootlegging. I was surrounded by reinas, but it did not occur to me that I was a queen, too. Let’s just say these were like my “college years,” and I was learning from the best professors of commerce of the day.

As it turned out, Tex was a teetotaler, which means my memory of her being drunk when she led me to Rum Row must be wrong! Apparently the hostess felt she needed to refrain from sampling the products that made the speakeasies successful, soooooo….Oops!

Gotta get my facts straight! That’s why I’m doing these interviews — clearing up the story before my nieta can pitch those persnickety literary agents in the 21st century.

Anyways, similar to me and Josephine, the life of Tex Guinan started early, at 14 years old when she ran away from home to star in a wild bronco act with the circus — at least that’s what some sources say!

Tex was famous for adding a bit of fiction to her backstory once she became famous.

Regardless, it’s interesting how us intrinsically independent women can’t be contained by the patriarchy in our teens. My nieta Dr. Nutmeg started jumping out her bedroom window at 14 years old to run around the house naked, just to see if she could do it. Once she learned she could, she started riding across town in taxi cabs in the middle of the night. Que Loca, pero who am I to talk? She inherited my spirit.

Anyways, like all us spirited women, Tex couldn’t be held down by a man — some sources say she was married three times, however, the book cited above by Louise Berliner, a granddaughter of the lawyer who defended Tex Guinan at her notorious "public nuisance" trial in 1929, says Tex was technically married only once.

By 1923, Tex was in her late 30s, and her stars in Hollywood and on Broadway were fading, but that’s when her biggest break came. She became the MC and hostess of El Fay Club on West 47th Street.

You’ll notice from the footage below that everyone was white.

Anyways, the main thing I remember about Tex is that she gave me a chance. Once I learned how to make hooch, I brought my first batch to Tex, and she said, “This is not how we do business, honey, we already got our stock earlier today, during business hours, not when we're all just trying to have a good time."

And I smiled, only understanding the last two words. "Good time, yes!" My English was terrible, so I grabbed two tumblers from underneath the hostess table, popped open a bottle and poured before she could kick me out of the joint.

Tex laughed at me and shook her head. "I’m a teetotaler, honey — can’t be drunk if I’m gonna show the drunks a good time!"

I didn’t understand so I waited patiently for Tex to sample my hooch, which made Tex laugh harder. "OK, lil girl, I trusted you on a speedboat on Rum Row, no reason to mistrust you now.” She turned to the fellas sitting at the table nearby and put the drinks in front of them, which they greedily swigged and swugged after Tex told them they were on the house.

• “Oh, hey, that's good, that's different,” said one man.

• Another man said, “That's spicy, oh yeah, it's got a little kick to it, doesn't it?"

• “Can we get another round?”

They all loved it but too bad a few hours later, the cops raided the speakeasy and it was a whole year before I could pitch another batch of hooch to Tex.

And when I did, she unloaded the suitcase and lined up the bottles of rum on the bar for her customers just like she did the first time, and again they all got snatched up in a minute. To this, Tex breathed a sigh of relief and slapped me on the back. "I don't know where you've been, but this is exactly what I need right now because Larry's been out of town and that Joaquin Cardona, I haven't seen him in ages."

I managed to breathe my own sigh of relief, and then I said out loud, in English, "I bring ten more boxes end of week."

The admiration coming from Tex was like the sun warming my soul. "Your English is getting better," she said. "And from what I’m seeing, it looks like this hooch is even better than the last! And by the way, it's time to sing!"

Tex pulled me up to the stage and at first I felt reluctant because I didn’t want to mix up dancing with hooch-making because I was afraid people wouldn’t take me seriously, but Tex was a mentor to younger women, she had helped me sell my first batch of hooch to gangster Larry Fay, so my worries seemed unfounded at this point.

Pa'l carajo, those insecurites!

I let loose, you bet I did. I danced like a maniac with Tex on stage to I'm Just Wild About Harry for old times sake. I owe Tex for helping me get my big break. So, here is my interview now with the Queen of the Nightclubs!

An Interview With Queen of the Nightclubs Tex Guinan