Rewinding from 2024 to 1922

Thursday Night Must-See-TV-Scriptwriting: Maria La Gata and the Queens of the 1920s are back thanks to SCRUM, JavaScript, and National Novel Writing Month.

Hola Femmebots. I’m Chakra Girl, the NEW hostess of The FACTory since Dr. Nutmeg and Femmebot 7.0 went into a coma a few weeks ago.

They say on the Interwebz that people in a coma can hear the voices around them, so for the rest of the year, we are re-writing two specific stories from The FACTory’s memory files in an attempt to awaken our unconscious princesas:

• Model Ricans — the origin story of Dr. Nutmeg’s Femmebots®
  Monday nights at 7 p.m.

• The Nine Lives of Maria La Gata — A serialized novel about Dr. Nutmeg’s bisabuela and her entrepreneurial journey from burlesque dancer to rum running gangster in 1920s Harlem and Puerto Rico. Thursday nights at 7 p.m.

Sponsored by: JavaScript workshops, since this is still a TV show for Latinas in Tech!

JavaScript Coding Challenge:

Given an array of forecasted maximum temperatures, the thermometer displays a strong with these temperatures.

Example: [17, 21, 23] will print "... 17°C in 1 days ... 21°C in 2 days ... 23°C in 3 days ..."

Create a function 'printForecast' which takes in an array 'arr' and logs a string like the above to the console.

Use the problem-solving framework: Understand the problem and break it up into sub-problems!

TEST DATA 1: [17, 21, 23]
TEST DATA 2: [12, 5, -5, 0, 4]

---
1. UNDERSTANDING the problem
Array transformed to string, separated by ...
What is the x days? Answer: the current index of the array + 1

2. Breaking up into sub-problems
Transform array into string
Transform each element to string with °C
Strings need to contain day (index + 1)
Add ... between elements and start and end of string

---

const data1 = [17, 21, 23];
const data2 = [12, 5, -5, 0, 4];

console.log(`... ${data1[0]}°C ... ${data1[1]}°C ... ${data1[2]}°C ... `);

const printForecast = function(arr) {
for(let I = 0; i < arr.length; i++) {
str = str + `${arr[i]}°C`;
}
console.log(str);
};
printForecast(data1);

About Dr. Nutmeg’s weird newsletter last week…

Before we get to Maria La Gata — I gotta apologize for last week’s incoherent newsletter sent from Dr. Nutmeg’s coma hole. Somehow, she scheduled an un-finished post to paid subscribers on Halloween night, Oct. 31.

My hypothesis: Miss Argentina from the “Beetlejuice” Neitherworld Waiting Room forgot to unschedule the newsletter after Dr. Nutmeg checked in.

I reviewed the un-edited rant and laughed. I’m sure you did, too. I mean…look at it:

I’ve been a mess most of my life.

Most don’t see the mess because my costume is a distraction.

I’ve been happy to hide behind it and my resume.

But I can’t hide or run anymore. Mask is off. All that is left is a rotting corpse of un-processed grief.

where is this grief coming from?

Childhood trauma…which I thought I already processed and reprocessed via yoga and DBT and ayahuasca and writing novels about it…

But the hurricanes brought the trauma back up and ti the s

That last sentence!!!! LoL

OMG. Hilarious. The open rates were quite high, so hey — now that you’ve seen the RAW insanity, let’s play a game called:

What Would Maria La Gata do after a hurricane?

She would say: “Pa’l carajo.” That means “go to hell” in Puerto Rican Spanish. Then she would rebuild her kitchen, start cooking the sugarcane on her 10 acres of land just outside of Ponce, and transform it into rum that will pay for absolutely EVERYTHING she needs. Doesn’t matter that the trifling government that doesn’t represent her is trying to restrict her biz — kids gotta eat! Ooooh, that bisabuela.

Bisabuela was a total Model Rican, riiiighttt???!

OK, enough intro. Let’s re-cap and continue the story of Maria La Gata…for paid subscribers, of course!

In July, Maria La Gata interviewed her friends:

• Queen of Rum Row Cleo Lythgoe

• Queen of the Nightclubs Tex Guinan

• Queen of the Stage Josephine Baker

• Queen of Jazz Orchestras Angelina Rivera

These interviews helped refine the timeline of Maria’s transformation from Dancer to Queen of the Gangsters.

In the last chapter we released here on Substack, Maria spins backwards when her fourth baby’s Papi (Fred) tries to seduce her. His touch is comforting after the Broadway show ends — especially since she still has NO PLAN for how she is going to transform her dancing career into a more lucrative rum-running operation.

In this next chapter, Josephine Baker helps Maria push forward when she finds Maria in the bathroom…